As human beings, we all have the awareness & wisdom to create the lives we want. Yet all it seems is that we suffer our intelligence & freedom. We suffer our past & we suffer a fantastic sense of imagination. If you are looking for transformation, it's time to take charge of your mind. I can help you by becoming mindful of the nature and source of your experience. There is truly is nothing holding us back other than the story we are telling ourselves.
Hi, I'm Roy and I grew up in Singapore. I had parents that loved me but they were never in love and fought constantly with each other. That confused me greatly. I was bullied in school for being effeminate. That crushed my sense of self. And I was taught that there was an all-loving God who could punish sinners and send them to hell. For an emotionally vulnerable kid that really did a number on me and I carried many of these psychological scars into my adulthood. I think most can relate. I suffered an autoimmune disease in my teens, spent a year in complete isolation because of the side effects of the medication, proceeded to graduate from law school, spent 2 years in the army (that was not a good fit), became a ballet dancer, a choreographer (which was a better fit) and am now an ordinary guy who has found his life's mission. I never thought I would ever hear myself saying this, but I am truly blessed.
This wasn’t always how I felt. My belief was that other people were more talented, had connections that I was not born with, and were just luckier. I also believed that happiness was elusive and that those who were happy were just in denial of a hostile universe that had favorites. I felt that if I were to achieve any measure of success, I had to fight tooth and nail, negotiate and compete mercilessly. All of this led to a lot of failed relationships, burnt bridges and not to mention many days where it was a struggle to get out of bed.
It is never easy to admit but for the past 40 years, everything I had come to believe about myself was a lie and it blew up in my face, cut me open screaming in pain and left me feeling like a corpse barely having the energy to perform even the simplest menial aspects of life.
This inauthenticity was the dark night of my soul. I lost my health, was on the verge of bankruptcy and became heavily addicted to suicidal thoughts that saw no possibility of redemption. This disillusionment was also ironically the opening. It precipitated a spiritual awakening where I became aware of a fearful wounded personality-mind structure that was pretending to be me. This self-concept had me spinning my wheels and chasing things that I have now come to find totally meaningless and of no value. I was a victim and couldn't accept anything that was inconsistent with this self-perception. This mistaken identity was the bane of my existence. I had felt like a fraud most of my life and now I saw clearly why. I was being run by a script I was not aware of and had no choice to rewrite.
My mind was coated with so many complicated layers of defenses, narcissistic guilt and fear, that it was impossible to see straight. And it wasn't until I started to live and embody the spiritual principles uncompromisingly that my world started to take on the cozier shades of kindness and beauty. I could finally see a world that I wanted to live in and participate in a meaningful and fulfilling way. I saw an opportunity to train and liberate my mind and I took it. I recognized that if I was to have any chance of happiness that the old, primitive, self preservation-at-all-cost reaction to life had to go and that it was totally up to me. And as I stepped fully into purpose, I also got to witness first hand that the power to choose was always in my hands, hidden from view by my prior investment in misery and victimhood. There was no one holding me back other than a mental diet that I had consumed and become identified with. It took a lot of devotion but the instant I saw no more value in suffering, healing was instant.
Today, my past continues to recede into a distant dream. I have lived it, learned from it, seen the gift in it, and no longer suffer it. It was time to move on. And as I started to live my life's purpose, I continue to be amazed at how everything magically falls into place, many times better than I could possibly imagine. Learning to trust my world took and continues to take vigilance. But as I am willing to cast the veil from my eyes, my jaw would often drop in amazement.
Life today is extraordinarily ordinary. It is simple, minimalist, alive, and unentangled. And even though I continue to experience chaos and challenges at times, I trust the underlying order that embraces unhesitatingly, accepts unconditionally, and loves wholeheartedly.
The practice of Yoga, ACIM, the Law of Attraction, Reality Transurfing, and the likes, are an invaluable process towards liberation. It is my life mission to bring light to these metaphysical teachings worldwide, at home, and to anyone who is interested.
I do not wish. I do not hope. I intend.